Updated Look

Tis the season for change. Deana & I are both working hard at improving our health. Of course, the major tactic in meeting this goal is weight loss. Three weeks ago I took the plunge and 'talked to Jenny.' Since joining Jenny Craig, I have lost a little over 8 pounds - I still have a ways to go but I gotta say woo hoo! Since I am not brave enough to post any photos of my body at this point, I updated the blog header. Let me introduce the two chippies.

It's nice to meet you.

Happy Birthday Nisy

Here's an pictorial overview of the festivities this weekend. Many happy returns to the fabulous birthday girl...

Happy Halloween

A spruced up photo of my adorable nephew to celebrate the Halloween spirit.

17 Years Old

No Fun.

Don't you just hate it when you find something totally awesome and they don't fit? I wonder if I am too old for foot binding..... P.S. They actually cleaned up quite nicely.......

Jenn says: Well if they don't fit you then I can certainly kiss any chance at those suckers goodbye...although my level of interest in and appreciation for the used, white, lace-up stripper boots is admittedly less intense. But I have a sneaking suspicion that 'Cinnamon' might be getting a very special birthday gift this year.

Deana says: Not so fast. Did you think I was justt kidding about the whole foot binding thing?

Jenn says: I know how badly you *want* the stripper boots to fit but I also know that you couldn't make it one day with your feet bound, my little lotus flower. Besides who wants to end up with feet that look like this?!?

Special Edition Life Coaching: Dream On

I have this recurring dream, well not so much a go-to-sleep-and-fantasize dream but more like a get-distracted-and-lose-focus-when-you're-supposed-to-be-working dream. And my dream is this: I am someone else, rather I am me but in another dimension. And frankly in this life, I am fabulous. I must have an inner desire for inordinate success or crave recognition because I can spend significant amounts of my workday imagining how different, how wonderful my life would be if only I were cuter/better/richer/popular/ skinnier/substitute your own adjective here. It's not so much that I really desire to *be* someone else. It's that I desire life to be different, to be easier, to be more satisfying, to require less effort, to offer escape...my own private "Calgon - take me away" montage. And I am not alone. If my girlfriends and I are representative of our age group, there are a whole lotta thirty-something mommies needing a small reprieve. So know this:

It's ok to dream.

It's Husker Time!

This is my favorite time of the year in Nebraska. I love how the lingering days of indian summer turn to the crisp, cool evenings of fall. I love transitioning out of shorts & tank tops and into pants & jackets. And I love Nebraska football...so do all of my girlfriends.

That's right. We love football.

Love

I have been neglecting the blog...but then that is true for nearly every aspect of my life. I have learned over the past few weeks a very hard truth: when your child is ill and away from home life does not just 'go on' despite your best efforts. Sometimes your best efforts in actuality suck. Grand Master B is still recovering. He 's awaiting placement in a residential treatment facility. It's becoming all too clear that the process of his getting well is going to be a long, drawn out affair. And when that is all you can think (obsess) about, everyday life just ceases to exist. I am having trouble focusing on household chores, work, socializing...even television requires effort to watch. Everything requires effort.

So I just wanted to take a minute to thank my husband for his love, patience and his support. I am quite certain that neither one of us imagined our first anniversary would occur among such discord. But we persevere. We communicate. We swallow anger and apologize when we forget to swallow anger. We remember that 'us' needs attention too. And we hold each other up.

Jim - Thank you for everything. I love you like crazy.

Life Coaching Saturday...er, Sunday

This weekend's segment is coming a tiny bit late but Grand Master B has been in the hospital all week and things have been crazy. He is doing better but has a long road to go towards full recovery. After everything that has happened over the past 7 days, I was having doubts about the wisdom of continuing on as a Life Coach. After all, my own life feels like it is spinning madly out of control and I know that I am managing to hold onto sanity by a mere shred of that oft mentioned thread. But then I realized that it is my very life experience, particularly the more challenging aspects that provides my deepest insight about survival and growth. Deana and the kids came over last night for a visit and Deana fixed me dinner. It was absolute heaven to sit back and let go, knowing that I finally didn't have to do anything. After dinner, D and I spent a long time just talking. It was funny, touching, sad and liberating to let the words pour out. I am left with the following lesson:

• Hang onto your sense of humor as it may be the thing that saves you in the end

Just when you think you've hit rock bottom and there is nowhere left to go, you'll find that there is a laugh at the end of the tunnel. Even when we are forced to confront our deepest fears, all is not lost if you remember to breathe deeply and look for the humor. I find it particularly cathartic to be able to laugh at one's self. Laughter is healing. Giggling is restorative. Sputtering, guffawing and snickering brings peace. To quote one of the best movies ever made*, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."

As you might recall, Deana and I have been struggling with weight and self-esteem issues (insert reference to the Master Cleanse folly here). But while we continue to strive for healthier lifestyles, we've embraced the one upside to gaining weight - BOOBS. Comparing cleavage, hell, actually having cleavage is downright miraculous for me. And I'll go out on a limb and share that is a relatively new concept for Deana as well. Last weekend, we attended a Toby Keith concert in Kansas City and got absolutely giddy squishing our breasts together to maximize their new found lushness. As you can see, we've documented this silliness for posterity. Maybe not the most proper or mature thing we've ever done...but then we already know that neither of us is ever running for public office. The mega doses of funny produced by this endeavor went a long way toward easing my burdens this week...and for that I am extremely thankful.

* I am referring, of course, to Steel Magnolias.

The Littlest Potter...with a side of two complete witches!

I am so, so tardy in blogging about the many magical adventures of the littlest Harry Potter...but in my defense a heavy workload, a family vacation and an asthma exacerbation conspired to keep my fingers from flying across these hallowed keys. But I prevail! And let me tell you what a fabulous night it was. Deana ran to Nobbies & found Mr. Sam an actual Harry Potter ensemble, including wand and glasses, as well as a cape and Griffyndor scarf for Princess Izzy. Sam and I went early to save seats prior to the midnight debut of the film. There were actually MORE people in costumes than I would have thought...and I thought quite a few people would don witch's hats and wizard's robes in celebration of this spectacle. As you can imagine, Mr. Sam in full-on Harry garb was extremely popular with the crowd. He got asked to have his picture taken by many a costumed reveler and so I snapped several pics of him amongst the masses as well. He really was very cute.

And speaking of cute, Deana and I got into the spirit of things also:

I was kinda pleased to be able to get some use out of the $22 hat I got for Mr. Sam as a souvenir from our recent Wicked encounter. Deana found a fabulous glitter witch's hat at Nobbies when she was buying the kid's costumes and she *had* to buy it for herself. Personally, I think we were the cutest adults in costume at the movie...but I might be biased. At any rate, you'll find it no surprise that both of us were completely at ease in the role. You might even say, we're a couple of complete witches (kudos to those that immediately get the Charmed reference).

And so we leave you with this last charming photo - Princess Izzy, Gryffindor Poster Girl and Lover of Things Wizarding.

I want to be Harry's girl.......

So, yes we made it to midnight showing/opening night of 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' and lived to tell about it. We attended in costume, but I will let Jenn blog more on that because she has all of the good photos on her camera. While watching the movie I just happened to notice that, hey that Harry Potter is getting kind of hot. So I googled 'Daniel Radcliffe' and discovered that he was born one year after I graduated from high school. But he's still legal, therefore any impure thoughts that I may or may not have have involving him are ok. Right?

Jenn says: Go get 'em, cougar. But I do remember when he was doing Equus on Broadway and promoting it all over TV land, I happened to watch a snippet of said promotion during "Inside the Actor's Studio" (it is on Bravo so I'm bound to see it sometime)....and he wasn't wearing a shirt and he looked yummy. Yes, I know - Hello, Pot!

Deana says: But do I have to be called a 'cougar'? I just hate that. Isn't there something else? How about 'sugar mama'? Nope. That is worse. And I'm broke, so that won't work. Hot old American lady?

We're Harry Potter Geeks

So Grand Master B is now 16 and, although he is seriously misguided, believes himself to "be a grown man, Mom." He has abandoned many of his old childhood interests, but not Harry Potter. No way. I discovered the book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" (the original title as published in England) in 1998. Frankly, it was not my usual sort of book purchase as 1) it was about a magical world with witches & warlocks, dragons & evil sorcerers and I'm not generally a supernatural, Dungeons & Dragons type of girl and 2) it was a children's book. But B was just turning 6 and loved to read - just like me. I thought it was something that might interest him and that we could read together...and we did. We loved this book and anxiously awaited the next release in the series over the next 9 years. We read every book together, with me reading out loud to B using clever voices like the nerd I am (except for the last book because he was "too old" to be read to). Since the release of the movies, we have watched each one in the theater and collected all the DVDs. About a year ago, Deana's son Mr. Sam was spending the night. Grand Master B and I introduced this beautiful, creative, imaginative boy to the world of Harry Potter...and wonder of wonders he loved it, too. Since then, the love of all things Potter has spread to include Princess Izzy and Deana (Dave had already read all the books). So we've all been anxiously awaiting the premiere of the 6th movie "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Price" which is this week - 7/15/2009. And like the geeks we are, this band of merrymakers already has their tickets...for the midnight showing on Wednesday the 15th. This is the first time I've ever been to the midnight premiere but we bought tickets online and all of us are going - even Jim (though it is possible that he is a bit less enthusiastic about this midnight adventure than the rest of us). Mr. Sam is going dressed as Harry Potter which is cute and funny because he is 5. I am going dressed in dark jeans/T-shirt with a large, black witch's hat purchased as a souvenir (for Mr. Sam) from our recent trip to see "Wicked" which is totally dorky, but still funny because I am not 5. I have yet to inform Grand Master B of this addition to my wardrobe because I want the mortification to be fresh on the night of the actual event. But I will end this post by sharing my new favorite pic of B. He got his braces off a few weeks ago and his teeth look amazing. I actually got him to smile wide for a photo of those gorgeous chompers. I love it!

Deana says: As for the Harry Potter premier, I told my husband, just for fun let's call him 'He who cannot be named' (What? It fits with the post!) about the outing and he wanted to know if we got him a ticket. Ooops. Well, he probably wouldn't have been off work in time any way......

A New Direction

In the course of several telephone calls between Deana and I today, we began discussing the crap hands life has dealt both of us lately (and by lately, I might personally mean too effing long...but hey, that's just me). Naturally, we hashed over and shared all the ways we have coped with said stress. And frankly, I'm super impressed with our abilities and kind of astounded by the similarity of our philosophies as we actually have very different temperaments. Our combined experiences have left us with a unique perspective on this journey we call life, as well as a few tried-and-true strategies to find and create joy in one's life rather than just survive each day. And that's when it hit us: We should become life coaches. Now, obviously it takes time, persistence, marketing and word of mouth to become successful in this business...and, of course, your coaching needs to produce results. To kick start our new roles, we'd like to offer four proven strategies for dealing with adversity and improving the joy in your life.

• Be open to change in your life, including new ideas, things and people.Sometimes we get too caught up in our own comfort zone. We become entrenched in outdated habits, suspicious of new people, judgmental of foreign concepts and ideas and closed off to change. Now I am the first to admit that I do not like change per se, but some of the best moments in my life and some of my closest friends came by taking a chance and embracing change. The photo above is an example of a new friend I met one night when the girls were out on a 'Bad Mommies' night. By moving outside my immediate circle of friends to include someone new, I (and by extension the other gals) got the opportunity to get to know a really great guy...for that night anyway. This particular encounter did not develop into a friendship. But I was open to change and took the plunge into the unknown. I feel that I am a better person for this and I think you can see that he was just as glad to have met me.

• Acknowledge the beauty in yourself, develop your talents and seek out creativity every day.
  

You may not be aware of this, but Deana has a very strong background in 'The Theater', including a BFA in Acting as culmination of her undergraduate years at UNL. At one point in time, Deana intended a career as an actress. However, life (and the need for reliable employment, a steady paycheck and the ability to eat at regular intervals) has moved her from that career in the arts to one in law (while you can make the argument that there is an awful lot of acting that goes on in the legal profession, I work in medicine and throw no stones). And it turned out that Deana absolutely loves her work. But she has not abandoned creativity and expression in her life. We have regular scary-oke, I mean karaoke nights which are so much fun and very therapeutic. Never forget the healing power of song...or dance, or crafting, or art. Whatever your passion, make sure to include it in your everyday life. Celebrate the majesty of who you are and the power inside of you.

• Recapture the adventurous spirit of childhood, the freedom to completely let go and enjoy the moment.
  

I cannot stress the importance of "letting it all go" enough. Each of us has a job, a family, a home and financial obligations that demand the majority of our time and attention. This is good and as it should be for the most part. But as with everything in life, balance is the key. Too many people become so focused on the "grown-up responsibilities" that they forget life is supposed to be fun. Savoring each opportunity to surround ourselves with positivity, to choose joy and to purposely seek out fun & relaxation leads to improved mental health...not to mention an undeniable attractiveness. Just check out my good friend Kozy. He has adopted this particular strategy as personal mantra of sorts and it has proven extremely successful.

• Always remember to be the best friend you can be to those that you love and they will return your love and kindness in abundance.
  

I was lucky enough to have met Deana when I was 18 years old at the start of my freshman year at UNL. I feel even luckier that our friendship has not just lasted but also prospered over the intervening years (though I will not say just how many years that has been - a lady never reveals her age). We have also been lucky enough to have introduced each other to many other friends, most very, very nice people but a couple real douchebags (c'mon, you know I mean your law-school buddy Johanna...and don't forget my asshat ex). Yet, many of these people have become very close to both of us, forming a circle of love and trust that surrounds us daily.

We hope that you have enjoyed this installment in our never ending quest for self-improvement. We are planning on making this a recurring theme, perhaps Life Coaching Saturdays. I don't know that we'll make it every Saturday- to be honest it depends on our social calendars. But since our dance cards have been shockingly EMPTY of late I'd say the odds are good for another life lesson next weekend. Pass the word about our services. Maybe someday we could even get paid for bestowing these tidbits of our accumulated wisdom...it could happen. Money would be great but we would settle for a couple of whistles. Really.

Really?

I am sitting here listening to the radio at work. Yes, I know it is Saturday, what is your point? Have you been talking to my husband? Anyway, so they play this REO Speedwagon song, which yes I am singing along to in my office and when it's over, the DJ comes on and says how much he loves REO and that song in particular because it's 'peppy', his word not mine, and filled with so much l-o-v-e, again his phrasing. What song you may ask? 'Take it on the Run'. I kid you not. If you're unfamiliar, here is the first chorus --

Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another you been messin' around
They say you got a boy friend
You're out late every weekend
They're talkin' about you and it's bringin' me down

How is that filled with love? Wait. Do you think he meant it was filled with love because this hussy is giving it up all over town? I suppose that is one way for a song to be filled with love. If you squint and think about it......

Jenn says: Ah, another moron - I'm so proud. Apparently it takes as much 'talent' to be a disc jockey as it does to be a sports announcer...which in my estimation is VERY little. It's like they just talk and talk without ever really hearing the lunacy of what they are saying. I actually heard a TV sports announcer say "You know [insert name of idiotic sportscaster of choice here], the team that puts the most points up on that board is gonna win this game".... Really?!? How insightful.

My children don't appreciate me

So, it's Friday night. I've taken the kids to Blockbuster, got them a couple of movies. We had dinner watched their silly movies, I took a little nap during the Barbie one, they went downstairs to re-enact something they've just watched, I got to watch this week's episode of 'Rescue Me' that I missed on Tuesday (yeah firemen!) and I think, hey let's sing a little on-demand, Karaoke, like you do. I turn it on, discover a plethora of 'Supremes' music and decide to give my children they're first lesson on being a 'supreme'. This is how it goes. Princess Izzy, with her pink microphone in hand screams at me to stop singing because she wants to 'sing by herself' like she's Celine Dion or something. She doesn't even know the words. Mister Sam doesn't pay attention at all. He used to love this. Now he is too busy doing some sort of 5 yr old modified Akihito roll off of the love sack which he ends by trying to impale our couch with a piece of train track because he's watched 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' one too many times this week. Are they impressed with the dance moves I'm trying to teach them? No. Are they impressed that their mother knows every single word of these songs by heart and doesn't even have to look at the screen? No. Ok, I'll give them that one, they can't read, they have no idea. Do they have any idea of the magnitude of the gift I am so desperately trying to give them? No. I don't even know why I try.....

Independence Day

Although this posting is several days tardy, we really enjoyed a lovely weekend celebrating the 4th of July. We kicked things off with the annual White Trash Bash held by a dear friend...we'll call her the Social Director. It is as delightfully tacky as it sounds. Every year on the eve of the 4th we set up lawn chairs, a boom box, a charcoal grill and a kiddie pool on the front lawn and celebrate. We come dressed in our best version of white trash couture and apply temporary tattoos liberally (in just the places that you're imagining). The hostess provides burgers and dogs while the rest of us bring sides and desserts. And, of course, it's strictly BYOB - preferably in continuation of the theme. My husband's drink of choice was a grape variety of Mad Dog 20/20, which in some sort of masochistic ritual dating back to his fraternity days he forced himself to consume in its entirety from the bottle (back off ladies, he's taken). Others were pulling on Old English Malt Liquor, PBR and Arbor Mist. I had fond college memories of Mickey's 40 ounce...until I remembered the massive hangover that accompanies drinking a 40 of Mickey's. The highlight of the evening was a "White Trash Food & Wine Pairing" put together by your favorite two chippies. But I'll let Deana post more about that later (um, since she drafted the WT Wine Pairing before I wrote this post, it actually posted before...good to know) .

On the actual 4th of July, the Judge was kind enough to host several of us for dinner, kiddie activities and fireworks at a local country club. It was very family oriented - lots of bouncy houses, obstacle courses and pony rides. The children had a blast! And the adults really enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere and GREAT food. And of course, the fireworks were amazing. The sky was lit up fantastically over the beautiful grounds of the golf course. So many feelings of pride, awe and patriotism are inspired in me every Independence Day. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful weekend...that has in typical fashion turned to absolute shit. But more on that later as well.

White Trash Wine Tasting

As Jenn previously mentioned, at our dear friend's fabulous 'White Trash Bash', she and I designed our own 'White Trash Wine Dinner' loosely modeled after the fabulous wine dinners that Jenn's husband hosts every month at the restaurant that he manages. It was, I dare say, a smashing success, due in part to the influence of Little Jim, whom I'm sure you will recognize from previous posts. (As an aside, my photography skills have recently been called into question. I can assure you that it is totally my crappy camera not 'pilot error' as somebody so eloquently put it and when I say eloquently, I mean 'smart ass'; and I had the same amount to drink when I took them as everyone else did, your honor.) That being said, on with the show...


First course- Spray cheese from a can, American, it was the 4th of July, after all, served on Chicken in a Biscuit crackers paired with Bartel's and James Fuzzy Navel wine coolers for that flashback to high school.

Second course- Iceberg lettuce with your choice of Ranch or the local favorite, Dorothy Lynch dressing and a slice of wonder bread. Just like Grandma used to make. This was paired with a lovely Boones Farm Strawberry Hill, which really played off the iceberg lettuce nicely. No forks, by the way, this is a white trash wine dinner.

Third course-Campbell's condensed bean with bacon soup paired with a Wild Vine Strawberry White Zinfandel. For this course the soup was served in the Dixie cups, instead of the wine and each diner took a shot of the wine straight out of the bottle. Again, just like Grandma's house.

Fourth course- For our main course we chose a lovely Banquet zesty meat meal paired with Franzia chilled red wine from a box. Don't ask me what kind of meat it was, all the package said was 'meat'. I think it is better not to know.

Fifth course- For dessert we paired a lovely Mad Dog 20 20, 'Purple Rain' with an assortment of wafer cookies, again just like at Grandma's house. Hmm. I am sensing a theme that I think we may have missed........

The wine 'dinner' was a smashing success and to celebrate, Little Jim decided to get smashed himself and immediately dived headfirst into a mason jar full of Budweiser. I am sad to report that this was indeed his down fall, as later in the evening he took a nose dive out of the pocket of my housecoat where I thought he had passed out, and decapitated himself. Luckily there were a couple of doctors at the party, albeit Juris Doctors, but they really know their away around tub and tile caulk and toothpicks, and miraculously they put Little Jim back together again. Sans one teeny tiny hole in his head that could not be salvaged. But hey, now he's more like his namesake. If anyone would like any of our recipes, just shoot me an email. I'll be happy to direct to the sections of the grocery store where I purchased each course........

Bad Mommies Club

We had our "Bad Mommies" club "meeting" last night. My last memory was asking the Judge to call my husband and then passing out on her couch, where I woke up this morning at 6:30. I let her dogs out, met her husband in the kitchen on my way to the bathroom, let the dogs back in, went home, showered, got ready for work, sucked up to my husband (No, not like that!) stopped on my way to work to get a diet coke "as big as my head" as Jenny White would say, and was still here by 8 a.m. Do I have a slight headache? Maybe. I am still a little drunk? Perhaps, but I am here!!! For all of you 21, 22 year olds who go out on a Wednesday night and can't make it in to work on time or at all, this is how it's done!!! And in the words of Little Jim, I am not an alcoholic, I do not go to meetings.........

The Adventures of Little Jim

Some goof ball that I work with fancies himself a 'decorator' and occasionally leaves me little gifts for my office. The latest was this tiny porcelain elf that I've decided to call "Little Jim", for no particular reason. Ok, there is but I've decided to keep it to myself to protect the not-so-innocent. At the insistence of some of my co-workers (yes, they really had to twist my arm) I took him with me on a business trip to Louisiana. And this was our adventure.....

Little Jim was very excited to go on his first trip to Louisiana. (It was my first trip as well.) He was not, however, too keen on riding in my suitcase. I promised him that I would let him out as soon as we got on the plane.

As promised, I let Jim out to have a look around as soon as we boarded. He was a little nervous about flying so.........

He ordered a bloody mary. I will come to find during this trip that Little Jim drinks. A lot.

After two take-offs and descents, a 40 minute lay-over in Memphis that was extended to about an hour due to complications with the cargo bin on the plane, we arrived in Baton Rouge and rented our car. Little Jim thought we should have been driving a truck since we were in the South. A pink truck. I was starting to wonder exactly which team Little Jim played for.....

After a short drive, we found our hotel and checked in. Little Jim was glad we were only on the second floor. Apparently he is afraid of heights. Little Jim is kind of a wuss. Kind of like another Jim I know, but I digress........


Little Jim wanted to use the phone as soon as we checked in. I don't know who he thought he was going to call. Little Jim doesn't have any friends. Just like another Jim, I know. Hmm.......

Little Jim insisted on jumping on the bed before we could leave to go meet Melissa. I think Little Jim may have ADHD.

After an early morning flight and a long afternoon of going through files, Little Jim and I were both exhausted so we headed back to the hotel. On our way back to the hotel Little Jim insisted that I stop and buy him a bottle of wine. He drank the whole thing while we watched 'Sweet Home Alabama'. It was white wine. I'm pretty sure I know which team Little Jim is playing for now..


After the movie (and the wine) Little Jim brushed his teeth.......

Said his prayers.......

And fell fast asleep........

The next morning we completed the file review, which left the afternoon to explore New Orleans. Little Jim was particularly excited, which should have been my first clue that he was not going to behave himself. Don't let the 'angelic' smile fool you, he's a handful. Just like someone else I know.....

It started at lunch. Little Jim thought this was a vodka tonic and dove right in. Much to his displeasure, it was just water......

Next stop was Pat O'Brien's. Little Jim had to order a hurricane, of course. He said something about it being a 'tradition'. It wasn't even five o'clock yet. I think Little Jim may have a problem....

Little Jim is also very vain. I think he would still be staring at himself in the mirror at Pat O'Brien's if I hadn't promised to buy him another drink.

Once Little Jim spotted the gay/lesbian gift shop, he temporarily forgot about drinking. He insisted on going in. He even bought a magnet for his "friend". I know for sure which team he's playing for......

Here is Little Jim on top of the piano bar in the oldest bar in New Orleans. This is where he really started to get out of control. He about got us thrown out of the place because he insisted on singing 'It's raining men' at the top of his lungs. The staff was not amused. Neither were we.....

Imagine the look of disappointment on Little Jim's face when he discovered that a 'gentleman's club' was not what he thought it was. He did want to buy a shirt that said 'I stripped at Rick's' but they didn't have his size.......

The next stop was a musical festival at a square in down town New Orleans. Little Jim was in rare form here. The only way I could keep him from grabbing my phone, dialing numbers and then handing it to me was by taking his picture. He is such an attention whore.....

He was going on and on about becoming a judge when I took this. I told him to keep dreaming......

This was taken at dinner, and it was all down hill from there. I don't even want to mention what happened next. Let's just say that photo is not fit for public consumption....... We tried to stage an impromptu intervention, but he insisted that he wasn't an alcoholic because he doesn't go to meetings. I think that Little Jim may have scared Melissa's friends that joined us for dinner.....

Finally, finally, FINALLY Little Jim had the good sense to just pass out! He was feeling a little under the weather the next morning and spent the trip home sleeping it off in my purse. After his exploits he's darn lucky I didn't make him travel in my checked baggage.

Lesson learned from my adventures with Little Jim? Never trust a man dressed like an elf.