Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Love

I have been neglecting the blog...but then that is true for nearly every aspect of my life. I have learned over the past few weeks a very hard truth: when your child is ill and away from home life does not just 'go on' despite your best efforts. Sometimes your best efforts in actuality suck. Grand Master B is still recovering. He 's awaiting placement in a residential treatment facility. It's becoming all too clear that the process of his getting well is going to be a long, drawn out affair. And when that is all you can think (obsess) about, everyday life just ceases to exist. I am having trouble focusing on household chores, work, socializing...even television requires effort to watch. Everything requires effort.

So I just wanted to take a minute to thank my husband for his love, patience and his support. I am quite certain that neither one of us imagined our first anniversary would occur among such discord. But we persevere. We communicate. We swallow anger and apologize when we forget to swallow anger. We remember that 'us' needs attention too. And we hold each other up.

Jim - Thank you for everything. I love you like crazy.

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Sunday, August 9, 2009

Life Coaching Saturday...er, Sunday

This weekend's segment is coming a tiny bit late but Grand Master B has been in the hospital all week and things have been crazy. He is doing better but has a long road to go towards full recovery. After everything that has happened over the past 7 days, I was having doubts about the wisdom of continuing on as a Life Coach. After all, my own life feels like it is spinning madly out of control and I know that I am managing to hold onto sanity by a mere shred of that oft mentioned thread. But then I realized that it is my very life experience, particularly the more challenging aspects that provides my deepest insight about survival and growth. Deana and the kids came over last night for a visit and Deana fixed me dinner. It was absolute heaven to sit back and let go, knowing that I finally didn't have to do anything. After dinner, D and I spent a long time just talking. It was funny, touching, sad and liberating to let the words pour out. I am left with the following lesson:
  • Hang onto your sense of humor as it may be the thing that saves you in the end
Just when you think you've hit rock bottom and there is nowhere left to go, you'll find that there is a laugh at the end of the tunnel. Even when we are forced to confront our deepest fears, all is not lost if you remember to breathe deeply and look for the humor. I find it particularly cathartic to be able to laugh at one's self. Laughter is healing. Giggling is restorative. Sputtering, guffawing and snickering brings peace. To quote one of the best movies ever made*, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."

As you might recall, Deana and I have been struggling with weight and self-esteem issues (insert reference to the Master Cleanse folly here). But while we continue to strive for healthier lifestyles, we've embraced the one upside to gaining weight - BOOBS. Comparing cleavage, hell, actually having cleavage is downright miraculous for me. And I'll go out on a limb and share that is a relatively new concept for Deana as well. Last weekend, we attended a Toby Keith concert in Kansas City and got absolutely giddy squishing our breasts together to maximize their new found lushness. As you can see, we've documented this silliness for posterity. Maybe not the most proper or mature thing we've ever done...but then we already know that neither of us is ever running for public office. The mega doses of funny produced by this endeavor went a long way toward easing my burdens this week...and for that I am extremely thankful.

* I am referring, of course, to Steel Magnolias.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Littlest Potter...with a side of two complete witches!

I am so, so tardy in blogging about the many magical adventures of the littlest Harry Potter...but in my defense a heavy workload, a family vacation and an asthma exacerbation conspired to keep my fingers from flying across these hallowed keys. But I prevail! And let me tell you what a fabulous night it was. Deana ran to Nobbies & found Mr. Sam an actual Harry Potter ensemble, including wand and glasses, as well as a cape and Griffyndor scarf for Princess Izzy. Sam and I went early to save seats prior to the midnight debut of the film. There were actually MORE people in costumes than I would have thought...and I thought quite a few people would don witch's hats and wizard's robes in celebration of this spectacle. As you can imagine, Mr. Sam in full-on Harry garb was extremely popular with the crowd. He got asked to have his picture taken by many a costumed reveler and so I snapped several pics of him amongst the masses as well. He really was very cute.

And speaking of cute, Deana and I got into the spirit of things also:

I was kinda pleased to be able to get some use out of the $22 hat I got for Mr. Sam as a souvenir from our recent Wicked encounter. Deana found a fabulous glitter witch's hat at Nobbies when she was buying the kid's costumes and she *had* to buy it for herself. Personally, I think we were the cutest adults in costume at the movie...but I might be biased. At any rate, you'll find it no surprise that both of us were completely at ease in the role. You might even say, we're a couple of complete witches (kudos to those that immediately get the Charmed reference).

And so we leave you with this last charming photo - Princess Izzy, Gryffindor Poster Girl and Lover of Things Wizarding.

Friday, July 17, 2009

I want to be Harry's girl.......

So, yes we made it to midnight showing/opening night of 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' and lived to tell about it. We attended in costume, but I will let Jenn blog more on that because she has all of the good photos on her camera. While watching the movie I just happened to notice that, hey that Harry Potter is getting kind of hot. So I googled 'Daniel Radcliffe' and discovered that he was born one year after I graduated from high school. But he's still legal, therefore any impure thoughts that I may or may not have have involving him are ok. Right?
Jenn says: Go get 'em, cougar. But I do remember when he was doing Equus on Broadway and promoting it all over TV land, I happened to watch a snippet of said promotion during "Inside the Actor's Studio" (it is on Bravo so I'm bound to see it sometime)....and he wasn't wearing a shirt and he looked yummy. Yes, I know - Hello, Pot!
Deana says: But do I have to be called a 'cougar'? I just hate that. Isn't there something else? How about 'sugar mama'? Nope. That is worse. And I'm broke, so that won't work. Hot old American lady?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

We're Harry Potter Geeks

So Grand Master B is now 16 and, although he is seriously misguided, believes himself to "be a grown man, Mom." He has abandoned many of his old childhood interests, but not Harry Potter. No way. I discovered the book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" (the original title as published in England) in 1998. Frankly, it was not my usual sort of book purchase as 1) it was about a magical world with witches & warlocks, dragons & evil sorcerers and I'm not generally a supernatural, Dungeons & Dragons type of girl and 2) it was a children's book. But B was just turning 6 and loved to read - just like me. I thought it was something that might interest him and that we could read together...and we did. We loved this book and anxiously awaited the next release in the series over the next 9 years. We read every book together, with me reading out loud to B using clever voices like the nerd I am (except for the last book because he was "too old" to be read to). Since the release of the movies, we have watched each one in the theater and collected all the DVDs. About a year ago, Deana's son Mr. Sam was spending the night. Grand Master B and I introduced this beautiful, creative, imaginative boy to the world of Harry Potter...and wonder of wonders he loved it, too. Since then, the love of all things Potter has spread to include Princess Izzy and Deana (Dave had already read all the books). So we've all been anxiously awaiting the premiere of the 6th movie "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Price" which is this week - 7/15/2009. And like the geeks we are, this band of merrymakers already has their tickets...for the midnight showing on Wednesday the 15th. This is the first time I've ever been to the midnight premiere but we bought tickets online and all of us are going - even Jim (though it is possible that he is a bit less enthusiastic about this midnight adventure than the rest of us). Mr. Sam is going dressed as Harry Potter which is cute and funny because he is 5. I am going dressed in dark jeans/T-shirt with a large, black witch's hat purchased as a souvenir (for Mr. Sam) from our recent trip to see "Wicked" which is totally dorky, but still funny because I am not 5. I have yet to inform Grand Master B of this addition to my wardrobe because I want the mortification to be fresh on the night of the actual event. But I will end this post by sharing my new favorite pic of B. He got his braces off a few weeks ago and his teeth look amazing. I actually got him to smile wide for a photo of those gorgeous chompers. I love it!


Deana says: As for the Harry Potter premier, I told my husband, just for fun let's call him 'He who cannot be named' (What? It fits with the post!) about the outing and he wanted to know if we got him a ticket. Ooops. Well, he probably wouldn't have been off work in time any way......

Saturday, July 11, 2009

A New Direction

In the course of several telephone calls between Deana and I today, we began discussing the crap hands life has dealt both of us lately (and by lately, I might personally mean too effing long...but hey, that's just me). Naturally, we hashed over and shared all the ways we have coped with said stress. And frankly, I'm super impressed with our abilities and kind of astounded by the similarity of our philosophies as we actually have very different temperaments. Our combined experiences have left us with a unique perspective on this journey we call life, as well as a few tried-and-true strategies to find and create joy in one's life rather than just survive each day. And that's when it hit us: We should become life coaches. Now, obviously it takes time, persistence, marketing and word of mouth to become successful in this business...and, of course, your coaching needs to produce results. To kick start our new roles, we'd like to offer four proven strategies for dealing with adversity and improving the joy in your life.
  • Be open to change in your life, including new ideas, things and people.Sometimes we get too caught up in our own comfort zone. We become entrenched in outdated habits, suspicious of new people, judgmental of foreign concepts and ideas and closed off to change. Now I am the first to admit that I do not like change per se, but some of the best moments in my life and some of my closest friends came by taking a chance and embracing change. The photo above is an example of a new friend I met one night when the girls were out on a 'Bad Mommies' night. By moving outside my immediate circle of friends to include someone new, I (and by extension the other gals) got the opportunity to get to know a really great guy...for that night anyway. This particular encounter did not develop into a friendship. But I was open to change and took the plunge into the unknown. I feel that I am a better person for this and I think you can see that he was just as glad to have met me.
  • Acknowledge the beauty in yourself, develop your talents and seek out creativity every day.
You may not be aware of this, but Deana has a very strong background in 'The Theater', including a BFA in Acting as culmination of her undergraduate years at UNL. At one point in time, Deana intended a career as an actress. However, life (and the need for reliable employment, a steady paycheck and the ability to eat at regular intervals) has moved her from that career in the arts to one in law (while you can make the argument that there is an awful lot of acting that goes on in the legal profession, I work in medicine and throw no stones). And it turned out that Deana absolutely loves her work. But she has not abandoned creativity and expression in her life. We have regular scary-oke, I mean karaoke nights which are so much fun and very therapeutic. Never forget the healing power of song...or dance, or crafting, or art. Whatever your passion, make sure to include it in your everyday life. Celebrate the majesty of who you are and the power inside of you.

  • Recapture the adventurous spirit of childhood, the freedom to completely let go and enjoy the moment.
I cannot stress the importance of "letting it all go" enough. Each of us has a job, a family, a home and financial obligations that demand the majority of our time and attention. This is good and as it should be for the most part. But as with everything in life, balance is the key. Too many people become so focused on the "grown-up responsibilities" that they forget life is supposed to be fun. Savoring each opportunity to surround ourselves with positivity, to choose joy and to purposely seek out fun & relaxation leads to improved mental health...not to mention an undeniable attractiveness. Just check out my good friend Kozy. He has adopted this particular strategy as personal mantra of sorts and it has proven extremely successful.

  • Always remember to be the best friend you can be to those that you love and they will return your love and kindness in abundance.
I was lucky enough to have met Deana when I was 18 years old at the start of my freshman year at UNL. I feel even luckier that our friendship has not just lasted but also prospered over the intervening years (though I will not say just how many years that has been - a lady never reveals her age). We have also been lucky enough to have introduced each other to many other friends, most very, very nice people but a couple real douchebags (c'mon, you know I mean your law-school buddy Johanna...and don't forget my asshat ex). Yet, many of these people have become very close to both of us, forming a circle of love and trust that surrounds us daily.

We hope that you have enjoyed this installment in our never ending quest for self-improvement. We are planning on making this a recurring theme, perhaps Life Coaching Saturdays. I don't know that we'll make it every Saturday- to be honest it depends on our social calendars. But since our dance cards have been shockingly EMPTY of late I'd say the odds are good for another life lesson next weekend. Pass the word about our services. Maybe someday we could even get paid for bestowing these tidbits of our accumulated wisdom...it could happen. Money would be great but we would settle for a couple of whistles. Really.





Really?

I am sitting here listening to the radio at work. Yes, I know it is Saturday, what is your point? Have you been talking to my husband? Anyway, so they play this REO Speedwagon song, which yes I am singing along to in my office and when it's over, the DJ comes on and says how much he loves REO and that song in particular because it's 'peppy', his word not mine, and filled with so much l-o-v-e, again his phrasing. What song you may ask? 'Take it on the Run'. I kid you not. If you're unfamiliar, here is the first chorus --

Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another you been messin' around
They say you got a boy friend
You're out late every weekend
They're talkin' about you and it's bringin' me down

How is that filled with love? Wait. Do you think he meant it was filled with love because this hussy is giving it up all over town? I suppose that is one way for a song to be filled with love. If you squint and think about it......

Jenn says: Ah, another moron - I'm so proud. Apparently it takes as much 'talent' to be a disc jockey as it does to be a sports announcer...which in my estimation is VERY little. It's like they just talk and talk without ever really hearing the lunacy of what they are saying. I actually heard a TV sports announcer say "You know [insert name of idiotic sportscaster of choice here], the team that puts the most points up on that board is gonna win this game".... Really?!? How insightful.